I hate how you
by cartoonnetworknerdchick
Summary: One shot. Effie walking into Haymitch and girl on another night which they have lost yet another pair of tributes. An explosion of anger following. Yes, there will be language, and it's not very fluffy. But the ending will satisfy any pairing you were looking for. (ahem Hayffie. shipper for life) before any of the books
1. Chapter 1

Effie stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, and immediately regrets it.

A set of limbs intertwined with another. Then a sweet moan of pleasure, accompanied with the drawl of intoxication. A flash of blond hair shining in the light, there he was. Here stand the drunkard who she has spent the last eleven years cleaning up for the cameras. Maybe not standing let's say curled into this _woman._

Effie feels so damn numb.

Then emotions hit her, because she cannot stand the thought of Haymitch and a capitol slut tonight. Not tonight. Seeing them is like a dark puddle of jealously, pang of hurt and pity.

Not for Haymitch never. No pity for him, pity for the girl he will never call back.

So Effie saves herself the trouble of crying herself to sleep. Saves herself from _those_ noises that make her stomach curl just like the drinks that empties her stomach, but those at least give relief. Luckily her makeup is caked on enough to hide her pained expression or the big eyelashes hide her eyes tearing up.

"Haymitch."

Effie's voice is a harsh and tired. A stop sign in the two's foreplay.

"Haymitch get this slut off MY couch!" Her voice is a pained scream.

Haymitch jumps up and the women peers innocently at Effie. The woman with her painted face steps away from Haymitch, adjusting herself.

"This is my couch as much as yours sweetheart."

Haymitch drawls and anger bubbles underneath quickly like wildfire. Effie puts on her best smile and ushers the young woman to the door. The girl obliges reluctantly probably as old as the children they just lost in the games.

"I'm sorry miss I just need you to leave now."

Effie sings songs politely doing her best to hide this agitation and depression. The elaborate dress on the girl is bulky and drips sparkles. Effie smiles and closes the door behind the girl as she desperately yells at Haymitch to call her.

_Click_.

The tension raises another three levels once the door is locked.

"Effie you're a stupid broad. Why do you always get in my way?"

He slams his fist against a wall and Effie jumps. Effie's tried to stop that because she knows he feels bigger when she jumps. He knows he's in control.

"You don't know how to deal with pain. I cared just as much about these children as you do."

Effie screams.

"Yeah but I don't smile as I send them to their deaths _sweetheart."_

Effie slinks back into the hallway and hisses as he throws bottles on the floor with force that scares her. Haymitch curses her name while he knocks the bottles and laughs bitterly.

"Scared now huh? You were so _fierce_ before! Coward."

Effie's voice is shrill and hurts his ears, her long nails digging into her fair skins as her hands are bundled in fists. Her heel less feet does not help her intimidate him by height. But as she screams insults from unknown places hot and rushing tears escape her eyes.

"I hate how you use people! Thinking just because you were in the games you have to always be an asshole! Like you get a free FUCKING pass to use people constantly. That girl was probably nothing to you just like the rest of the world! Why don't you just die if you're SO UNHAPPY?"

She can't see through the tears anymore everything a blur of colors. But she can feel the cold liquid on her toes and the twinge of glass shards. And she can hear the tear down insults he can yell back. But it's silent.

Finally Haymitch speaks in a low voice.

"You know what I hate?"

His voice raises dramatically shaking the glass on the floor, and making Effie cringe at the sudden change.

"How FAKE you are. How much bullshit you let yourself believe. Maybe I do use people. But you will never know _the games_. Feeling desperate and scared for your life, you will never feel that. Of course that woman didn't mean anything, why should she?"

Haymitch flings his fist in the wall fighting the urge to wipe her eyes; it's so damn annoying seeing her squirm as she yells like a damn clown, and hearing her struggling to talk between her tears.

"Effie quit wearing all this JUNK on your face! You wouldn't wear this if you were really secure about yourself, because you're just as much of a _coward _as me."

Haymitch roughly wiped her face with his hand, pulling off the white and revealing a light tan shade. But it only smears into some weird unnatural cream color. Effie spats and jerks away; his hand rips away the unhuman like wig.

Dark brown fuzzy curls fall to her shoulders Effie gasps.

She stands vulnerable hands at sides lip quivering.

Exposed and glassy eyed, she shrinks under his surprised expression. The clumpy foundation is swirled in ugly patterns and patches of her real complexion shows. Effie's body looks frail and human.

Gone is the unachievable beauty and long legs, now Haymitch towers a barely over five foot woman. Standing tall she cries silently and holds her head high.

Haymitch growls at her resistance, and steps closer but she doesn't budge.

"This is why you shouldn't wear that shit on your face Eff."

Then there is a dark urge to kiss her.

Haymitch seizes her arms, squeezing to the point of pain and slams his lips on hers. Haymitch feels the rage practically emanating from her skin. It's steamed under his hands.

The gesture is replied to with a hard shove and screaming and finally a wall shaking slam of a door.

"I hate you the most"

**Sorry it's a one shot so a little short.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well I decided to continue due to all you amazing people. I send peace and prosperity; smile today because people look best when they smile. **

"**Why is love dimmed by the knowledge that there is absolutely no chance the person loves you back?"-Daniel Handler **

Cameras flash and it makes her vision blurry. The sun like flash makes her cringe even with her best smile. Thin arm intertwined in his as they stride through the cameras. Questions are thrown and Haymitch bites his tongue. Effie glances at him in warning, making sure he's on best behavior.

They cannot look at each other, not after last night.

Effie can remember the repulsing taste and smell on the alcohol.

Haymitch has the image of her face smeared in the makeup and tears on replay in his head. Her deep brown curls are imprinted in memory. Not in a way of lust or admiration, shame really. Because he had almost broke her, fully that night. Left her naked and exposed, but she stood tall and cried. Haymitch cannot drown his guilt without the drinks. The need to forget how he has humiliated the woman holding his arm, burns hot in his mind.

Both of them cannot stop thinking of what he has done though.

Haymitch has complicated everything. That kiss will be the death of the comfortable anger they hold toward each other. Now there is a barrier between them, now they must move on even though the memory clings.

Finally they are through the cameras and into some other expensive building. The walls gleam and shimmer but it's so plastic and uninviting no one stays long. Peace keepers escort them to their train to return to their homes.

First we have an empty mansion for one drunken man who is trying to forget the world. Then there's the manner dripping capitol apartment for an insecure woman just trying to live with her nightmares.

"Sweetheart." Haymitch growls softly.

Effie doesn't respond. Not now, she will not argue and embarrass herself in front of people.

Especially not important people.

The conflicted and guilt ridden couple follow men in blinding white suits. Haymitch can feel the lust for the whiskey and gin as he imagines shooting them with their own guns. Effie day dreams of never taking this job and new shoes. The shoes are just another way to distract from the emptiness and feelings of wanting something more.

Effie looks up to Haymitch.

But she doesn't have to look she knows him by memory.

Sinful and regretful orbs of blue, most of the time glazed over by intoxication. With Haymitch you also receive plain dirt blonde hair, accompanied by the scruffy five o'clock shadow. Special dose of fair skin made sun drenched by running for his life. Finally bags from the lack of sleep he gets from images and fears made by something that is supposed to be a game.

Effie doesn't understand why she feels something for this jackass. Nothing to offer her, mother has taught her better. But somehow his pain draws her she wants to blow of the dust and shine the silver. But Haymitch is a piece of silver painted in spikes. Who wants to clean that?

"Sweetheart, hello?" Haymitch says again with a little agitation within his voice.

"Yes." Effie says through gritted teeth.

He opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the peace keeper, the man with the gun on his hip smirks like he knows how much Haymitch itches to do _something. _

"Your train Mrs. Trinket and Mr. Abernathy, have a nice trip home."

Effie smiles so much charisma it seems to drool insincerity. Expressing excitement and gratitude Effie gushes. Haymitch nods briskly and opens the cart door for her. They step on floors that if sold could feed half of district twelve well. Times like these make Haymitch feel the worse. They are alone but only for seconds as ridiculously dressed stylists rush into the cart.

The stylists have an unreal amount of pity and grief for the loss of this year's children. Dressed in black with stupid as hell accessories they bow their heads.

"Oh Effie were _so sorry_. We thought we really got winners this year."

Effie smiles sadly a stylist shoves a black rose into her gloved hand. The sight causes a deep rush of emotion and she has the urge to fling it back in the woman's face. But she doesn't, Effie slips it nicely on the table with a false grin. Haymitch doesn't save time for the bullshit and shoves it back into the stylist's hands.

An angry frown is given to Haymitch and he abandons Effie's side to search for anything to erase the pain.

"May we be alone a moment?" Effie commands but it seems like a request.

Nether less they skitter from the room of mahogany, and jewels, leaving the two empty people alone. Haymitch groans in frustration when he cannot find liquor and Effie settles onto one of the cushions. Effie shoves off the heels and gently places them in a shoe slot. Haymitch glances over and their eyes meet.

Quickly they flitter away; sometimes it's too much to look at someone who you left standing alone. Effie pulls her feet up on the cushion ignoring the mental protest on manners. Haymitch finally rises and walks over to her.

Effie physically recoils from Haymitch and he glare at her from his five foot distance. Awkward and uncomfortable silence sits between them like a wall. Effie does her best not to look at him, or allow herself to care anymore. No, no reason to care, Haymitch would never care much less _want_ her back. That kiss was just passions running high and angry motives to break her more.

Haymitch sits beside her and yanks off the wig.

Effie yells in protest and stops fighting and throws the wig down in anger.

"I'm not good enough for you huh? I can't even sit here at peace without you ripping off my dignity. Fucking hell, Haymitch!"

Effie spats and Haymitch narrows his eyes.

Then he smirks, it is an image of challenge and Effie wrings her hands out.

"Calm down princess. No need to get worked up about the kids. If you were not their escort you would have never given a second glance."

"Neither would have you, you drunk."

Effie feels anger explode in her like an explosive and she roughly grabs Haymitch's collar. Effie glares into his eyes, her capital diet body straddling his. Haymitch still hasn't reacted, as the brown locks of his college brush his face. Effie's body is spread across his; she's in control but doesn't know what to do. Haymitch can feel the dark urge bubbling up again as her torso presses against his.

"This is your god damn fault for making me confused. I hate you Haymitch. I hate what you have made me!"

Effie spats and slams her coral lipstick lips on his. The kiss has the same intensity but now Haymitch can feel the kiss in its true form. Effie's hands are rough and punishing. Long nails scrape his neck as she curses between kisses and he clamps his hand on her scalp.

Bodies pulsing with confused and forbidden desire Effie can feel tears form in her eyes.

She realizes he doesn't care and now she's given in. Now she's just another capital slut. With this image and degrading feeling, Effie whispers "I hate you".

Haymitch can't stop, but he needs to. This is not another woman to him; he can't ruin what he has going for him with this tension. He's made her even more humiliated and guilty; he can feel her tears on his skin.

Haymitch stops her and wipes her tears hastily and rushes out of the cart, as Effie curls into herself crying.


	3. Chapter 3

The babbling nonsense of the people around her feels like a bubble of dis interest surrounds her. Effie's tried being a good host. Effie was smiling with lips glistening neon pink and shaking hands with fat men and their wives. Laughing dainty and listening into the latest gossip about someone and their failing love life. The whole thing just made her feel more and more friendless, even though these were the people who considered her family.

Effie felt empty, nothing at all.

No one really noticed when Effie stepped out, funny because it was_ her_ house warming party. But you wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't know. To any other eye it would seem like a big party of people controlled like puppets. The puppets had painted faces and rail thin bodies moving like the puppet master yanked.

All the people moving as if guided by string.

Plus they were all _so_ happy. Effie used to be_ so_ happy, but she began to question why. Why was she so happy? Why did these things matter? Effie was beginning to feel like this more and more.

This feeling all came into existence because of _fucking_ Haymitch.

Effie catches her reflection in the mirror like wine.

She quickly looks away hoping to melt back into the effortless happiness the whole crowd seemed to be in. Effie watches behind the deep blue contacts. Green eyes are unfashionable right now, no one would accept her if they saw.

Her blood red walls shine with new paint, and floor reflecting her image in the deep brown. The chandelier has pretty black candles that bleed wax reminding her of how this year's victor girl died.

The redheaded girl ran screaming as the black smoke covered her skin, peeling and biting the layers away like acid, quick and painful. Effie cringes and puts the drink down. Then she thinks of Haymitch and his face as her watched only three months earlier.

Blank. His expression was blank.

Three months seemed like a long time. Now thinking about it she has not had any contact with Haymitch for three months.

Not since the incident on the train.

And by some hidden feeling Effie _misses _him. That jackass, who ruined everything! Effie knew she couldn't avoid feeling for him; she was victim of the constant flirting and arguments but, missing him? That's a completely different emotion.

Effie pushes through the happy people, ignoring her in_ her_ new fancy apartment.

Heels clicking like a clock she strides and has the urgent need to call Haymitch. Make sure the bastard is still alive. The worry builds, and out on the balcony, where the people have scurried inside to get out of the cold, Effie stands alone.

Shuffling in her purse she finds the pink rhinestone phone. After having to scroll over half a hundred contacts she finds Haymitch. Effie glares at the phone, why bother stupid assholes probably too drunk to know how to answer a phone. Or maybe he's sober enough to ignore her call.

Effie huffs shoving it deep back into the bag turning on her heel. Effie looks into her home through the glass doors and sees _him._

Black suit with blue shirt he's clean not completely but somewhat. Enough for any capital woman wanting a joy ride on a victor, would pursue. But then again capital women pursue all victors. Haymitch just happens to be decent looking.

Wiggling his way through her house, Haymitch nurses a beer occasionally grumbling at people to move out of his way. Haymitch looks up and their eyes lock through the glass. He smirks, the kind that makes a woman drop her panties. Effie's taken aback and it shows on her face. She didn't invite Haymitch nor tell him she moved to a new place. Why is he here?

Haymitch stands tall ready to face the tiger behind the glass doors. It's been much to long since that kiss and it's been burning in his head. Along with guilt and dancing with compassion. Haymitch hates compassion most of all, it seems to only make his knowledge that he will be rejected worse.

Effie swallows and strides to the glass doors. Haymitch advancing to her and opening the door for her somewhat like a sober gentleman.

"I didn't get an invite sweetheart."

"Maybe I didn't want you here."

Haymitch scoffs.

"That's no way to treat a guest Eff. Especially one who you shared spit with."

**Well this is kind of a different interaction between our two lovers then we have seen and I wanted to change it up a little. Hope you enjoyed, it's kind of more of a filler chapter sorry. And readers give me some more review feed back please dear Jesus and all above, it is so encouraging. Wishing love and prosperity cnwnc out!**


	4. Christmas chapter

**Warnings this is not connected to main story and is just a Christmas chapter. It might be angst because well I just got dumped. Or it could end happy, I don't know. **

**Wishing everyone happy holidays as always thanks and please review.**

Effie watches through glazed eyes at the mind numbing Christmas lights. Beautiful and useless the lights of red, green and white twinkle.

Shivering against the sharp wind Effie waited on the bench for the train to bring her home. No rush she didn't plan on spending the night at any party or anyone in that matter.

Christmas songs flow throughout the station as a mother primps her daughters ridiculously sized bow. Effie catches a glimpse of the little girl and how she turned up nose. The child will soon grow up looking down upon the world in ignorant bliss.

Turning her powdered face away, Effie watches the people go by.

They move so quickly and most are over joyed for the holiday season. A group of bony women sing carols in tight mini skirt Santa costumes. Effie smirks at how they shake in the cold. Crossing her legs she closes her eyes and hums along to the music.

The whole Christmas season was supposed to be religious if she remembered correctly.

At least that's what the religious group of her "friends" had said. As the lights shimmered and the commercials were full blast Effie wondered if there really was a reason for the crosses hanging across the square.

Her lack of sleep was catching on and her body became slumped. In her head little voices reminded her of manners and she shot up to sit in good posture. The capital city beamed back against her tired features and she felt a rough hand on her shoulder.

Effie turns a little sluggishly to see Haymitch. Effie greets him with a soft smile.

Haymitch eyes her warily at her smile, and swings his head back guzzling back holiday ale.

"Why you smiling sweetheart?"

"Because I'm being polite, unlike you, you could at least have greeted me properly."

"Don't get started on the whole manner bullshit again Eff. Knowing which fork to use has not done me jack shit."

"Not in the mood for this Haymitch."

Haymitch growls and slides next to her on the bench with a dark smirk.

"Come on Eff its Christmas give your daddy some sugar."

Effie already half asleep and feeling a pinch of agitation decides against fighting with him. Effie skids away on her led flashing heels, throwing the wig out of her face. Sensitive now she ducks and avoids people as they finish holiday shopping and catching their trains. Haymitch clambers after her it had not been part of the plan to upset her. Haymitch still smirks at how she stomps away.

It's always been such a fun game to piss her off. Haymitch keeps a better view of Effie by her ass swaying then by her flashing heels.

"Sweetheart best not to play chase with a victor."

Haymitch growls when he catches up to her slide, his long coat flapping behind. Effie glances up at him through snake like eyes.

"I need to get to the train Haymitch. What you want to go?"

Haymitch shrugs throwing his head back again, and snaking his arm around Effie's waist and yanking her into his body. Effie gasps and shoves away squealing "Haymitch".

Effie clambers into the train pursued by Haymitch who laughs holding his gut. Effie slams down in a seat boring daggers into Haymitch using just her eyes. Haymitch stands and holds onto the rail smirking dangerously down at her.

"So what are you cooking?" Haymitch asks nonchalantly and bumps her knee.

"What makes you so sure I'll let you stay?" Effie says through gritted teeth and a piercing smile.

"Because if you don't I could end up dead or arrested. And you would be the reason. What would Seneca think if you didn't take care of the last living victor of twelve?"

Upon hearing this Effie's eyes of purple popped open before returning to the irritated glare that she only used on Haymitch.

"You're a pain in my ass. Haymitch you could have been a perfect gentleman and asked."

Haymitch scoffed loudly causing the other people in the train to glance in their direction. They quickly turned back to whisper judgmental words about him, once he snarled at a man.

"Like you would have agreed."

"Touché."

Effie crossed her legs and even falling deeper and deeper into sleep; she was still high strung as Haymitch settled down beside her. Whole body was on edge, ready to leap at the slightest touch. But which way would she jump, into the arms of the offending drunk or onto the polished floor?

Effie mentally reminded herself there is no point in caring anymore; its Christmas let it rest.

Haymitch sits among the plastic people and cannot stand to think watching him suffer was enjoyable to them. So once again he swings back the liquid letting it sizzle down his throat. The ale washing away his melancholy leaving him comfortably numb next to a cracking woman of wealth.

Haymitch yearns to touch her like every time he sees her, desiring to rip off her exterior of jewels and lies.

How pretty the annoying woman looked, how fiery her personality clashed with his. And how blissfully scarred her memories of him were.

Just thinking about her made him want to kiss her a bit more than their last guilt fueled kiss, and hold her tighter then he had.

Among the lust, and comfortable sense of belonging Haymitch could not ignore just what his words did to her.

The insults must have battered her confidence and hung her self-esteem. Haymitch was many things but he was not selfish enough to drag this woman away from happiness she probably deserved.

But he was a man, and couldn't contain the need to stay by her side. Hell she was almost as good as the alcohol her shrill scream was almost as familiar as the feel of the glass in his hand. And her genuine smile was just as beautiful as…_hers had been._

Maybe he loved her. Maybe the years of being alone with her were finally getting to him. Either way it was deep set that she would never want to stay with him, dealing with his angry smell and attitude forever.

Haymitch sighed and glanced over to Effie questioning how they ended up kissing and grasping for each other's heat when she sits so far away in her own world of havoc.

The train hummed through the city snaking and slithering down the tracks. Skyscrapers towering over the world and the lights out shone the stars. The constant murmur of conversation flowed through the cart.

Soon Haymitch felt Effie's head drop on his shoulder. Her immense number of hair barrettes dug into his shoulder and he grimaced at the twinge.

When the train pulled over at her avenue stop Haymitch shoved her awake hard.

Effie awoke with a well-placed profanity word and skittered slowly behind Haymitch gripping his arm for support.

Effie's legs practically dragged and she yawned complaining to Haymitch to be a gentleman and pick her up. The snow gathered on her heels into her stockings making her toes freeze she spat more at Haymitch calling him every name under the sun.

True it would have made the walk more romantic if he picked her up but then he might drop his ale.

So they trudged up her steps and narrowly avoided her elaborate decorations. Haymitch shoved a snow man aside to look back and find a very pissed off Effie.

Nether less Effie props open the door and they plow inside slamming the door and jacking up the heat.

Effie turns up the lights and the room has a soft yellow glow, she shrugs off her coat hanging it up properly.

Haymitch flings his aside and kicks off his boots padding in his socks to the kitchen.

Effie hangs up his coat annoyed, and adjusts a string of pink lights until she is satisfied.

Haymitch digs through the fridge to be stopped by Effie with a thick smack on the hand. Haymitch hisses like his geese and steps back.

"Set the table first." Effie commands and points to tall glass cabinets full of china wear.

Haymitch sloppily sets down plates and forks and takes the liberty of sampling a wine. Effie drags out some take out from a day ago and heats it up.

Even as the best hostess she's too exhausted to cook.

Relaxed in her plush dining chair Haymitch mixes his holiday ale and her expensive wine.

Effie settles across her table from Haymitch carelessly slamming his plate down in front of him. Haymitch eats like a pig and Effie cringes in silence.

The silence sits between them like another guest at the table.

Effie glances around her glimmering home, the lights reflecting on the walls and faux fir trees stand guard of the whole area.

It looks like a fairy tale to Effie as she sits underneath the chandelier of candles and the bulbs shine like tiny fairies. Reminding her of the stories her mother told her before she left.

It looked like the magical kingdom her mother described as she brushed Effie's hair before they placed her wig on top. Effie used to dream she would live in the kingdom one day with the fairies, and hell here she was.

The sight so odd and breath taking she begins to laugh.

Not her light polite laugh, but a snorting laugh so inappropriate in their silence Haymitch is scared she's gone crazy. He watches as she doubles over in the moment of happiness, and yanks off the wig and throws off the shoes.

In her stockings of white Effie runs from the table to the grand empty floor of cream tile.

In the click of a button music erupts from the walls and Effie dances in the notes. Effie floats along half asleep, eyes shining and laughing away. Brown curls of imperfection swirl around her head and Haymitch finally rises from his chair.

"Sweetheart? Are you alright?"

Effie pants between laughs and pulls his hand in hers.

"It's Christmas Haymitch! And you know I know nothing about it! I know everything about holidays, but I know nothing of the true meaning of this one. Why did I decorate my home? What's the point?"

Effie questions as she dances.

The soft yellow and harsh pink of the lights grant a halo around her sea of brown curls.

Haymitch watches appalled at how deep she question things and together they ask silly questions.

He cannot help but start laughing and their bliss is so confusing and sudden they both feel as if they have gone mad.

Rough hands in silky soft gloves they waltz unprofessionally. Saying and questioning the society, each other and the world around them. Haymitch catches her eyes and Effie holds his and he whispers into her ear.

"Effie, I..I..."

Effie watches him waiting a small sparkle of hope rises in her stomach. That maybe this jackass drunk is in love with her too. Effie glows from the lights and her skin looks flawed as the powder has been sweat away. Her hand gingerly touches his face.

It was a moment of silence, the music had not stopped playing but it was blank in his head and all he could concentrate on was the smell of the strong perfume and the glow she gave off all on her own.

In one smooth motion Haymitch leaned down and placed his lips on her own. So damn carefully if she didn't know he was not holding her waist she would think it might have been a dream. And as soon as Haymitch lips had brushed Effie's, she engulfed him.

It wasn't a lustful, guilt and desperate kiss.

He handled her so gently and caressed her so dearly Effie was terrified.

It was a moment of reality in a world of pretend. For just a second it meant something that was completely different from the embraces before.

It was real.

Too real to be exact.

What did this mean? Why was this kiss so different?

As the thoughts in her head flooded in confusion and concern, their lips danced an Effie was scared.

Because these days Effie just didn't know what the hell was going to happen next.

**Looks like it ended pretty happy to me. MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS LOTS OF LOVE!**


End file.
